Non Veg Jokes

Yuhi hat se muth laga laga k mar jao ge

humne lund dekhaya tu dar jao ge

ek bar leker tu dekho lund hamara

bar bar ki lene ki zid pe arr jao ge....

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Barish me Ladki ke gile boobs dekhkar

Boy: Apki headlight on ho gai hai..

Girl: Mera Bap bill bharega tumhe kya?

Boy: Par bijli ka Khamba to Mera Hil raha hai...

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Aurat K 3 Karishmay!

1) Baghair Ghaass Khaye Doodh Deti Hai.

2) Baghair Daanton K Kaccha Gosht Khati Hai.

3) Baghair Lund K,

Mard Ki Gaand Maar Deti Hai....

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Some Giggling Facts:

1: Fuck a girl & she'll love you, Love a girl & she'll fuck you!

2: Most men have split personalities; They hate cats but love pussies.

3: The words "naked" & "nude" are not the same. Naked implies unprotected & Nude means unclothed.

4: Men give love to get sex, Women give sex to get love.

5: Common thing between a girl's legs and butter: Both are delicious when spread...

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If your boss says

NOTHING is impossible.. .

Ask him to try and wear

a condom after sex...

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Love is not measured by hugging kissing n sex. Its all abt trusting, respecting n accepting a prson wid

OPEN LEGS CLOSED EYES, WET LIPS saying

"PUSH IT MORE"

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A Criminal Broke Into Bed Room ,Tied Up Husband & Wife ,

Kissed Wife's Ear & Went 2 Bathroom..

Husband: Satisfy Him Or He Will Kill Us ,Be Strong I LOVE YOU.

Wife: He Did't Kiss Me , He Whispered In My Ear That He's Gay ,Needs Vaseline I Told Him Its In The Bathroom . So Be Strong I Love U Too

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Q. What’s the difference between a woman and a fridge?

A. A fridge doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out. . . ;->

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Q. Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute?

A. The prostitute because she can wash and resell her crack. . . ;->

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Q. What is a Zebra?

A. 26 sizes larger than an “A” bra. . . ;->

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Q:

What is the difference between a woman

in church and a woman in a bathtub. . . ?

Ans:

One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her

hole. . . . ;->

Source : Adult Jokes

Adult Jokes Club

Getting Back ?

The courting couple were looking for somewhere private but the gates of the park had been locked for the night.

“Never mind,” said the boy, “if you stand on this (showing her his erect John Thomas) you’ll be able to get over the wall.”

“That may be so,” she replied, “but how will I get back?”

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Crickets

The man parked the car in Lovers’ Lane and for a few moments the young couple just sat and listened to the countryside noises.

“Oh it’s lovely here,” enthused the girl. “I think I can even hear the crickets.”

“That’s not a cricket,” replied the man, “that’s a zip.”

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VD or TB ?

A man met a beautiful girl in the pub and couldn’t believe his luck when she invited him back to her place. Very soon, they were upstairs, stripping off but just as he was about to throw himself at her she suddenly stopped and said,

“Oh, I should have told you, I went to the doctors today and he told me I had either VD or TB, but I can’t remember which.”

Even this news couldn’t dampen the man’s ardour. He rang up the girl’s doctor straight away.

“I’m sorry,” said the doctor. “I had two girls in today so I can’t remember.”

“Oh no!” exclaimed the man, “what shall I do?”

“Well chase her around the room a few times and if she starts to cough then go ahead and make love” came the reply.

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Condolences

A widow of only a few months goes out on her first date since the death of her husband. They have a great evening but when he makes a move, she holds him back saying, “I can’t. I’m wearing black knickers because I’m still in mourning for my husband.”

They continue to date, although it never goes past a goodnight kiss at the end of the evening.

Then a few weeks later in the middle of a passionate embrace, he gets out a packet of black condoms.

“What are those for?” she asks.

“I’d like to give you my condolences!” he replies.

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Alone

“Forgive me Father for I have sinned,” said the man in the confessional.

“What is it, my son?” came the reply.

“Well, last week I went round to my girlfriend’s flat but she wasn’t in. The only person there was her flat mate and we ended up having sex.”

“Oh dear,” replied the priest.

“And then a couple of days later, I popped round to my mate’s house but he’d gone down the pub. The only person there was his wife and we ended up having sex.”

“Oh dear,” remarked the priest again.

The man continued “So then last night, I went into the local pub and it was empty. Everyone had gone to watch the darts team playing away. There was only Mandy serving behind the bar so we ended up having sex. What shall I do?”

But there was no answer from the other side of the screen.

“Father, are you there?” demanded the man. No answer came, so he began looking for the priest and eventually found him hiding in the pews.

“What are you doing there?” he exclaimed.

“Well, I suddenly realised that you and I were alone together,” replied the priest.

Source : Adult Jokes

Funny Adult Jokes

Adult Jokes - SHERLOCK HOLMES WAS CAMPING WITH DR. WATSON…

Sherlock Holmes was camping with Dr. Watson…

…and Mr. Holmes turned to his assistant: Tell me, Watson, what do you see?

Watson was puzzled by the remark, but he looked up and said, “Stars. Millions and millions of them.”

Holmes responded: “I agree. And Dr. Watson, certainly you have picked up on many of my techniques of deduction. Can you deduce something from what you see here?”

Dr. Watson looked at Mr. Holmes and said, “Well, I’m not as good as you are, by any stretch, but why not. I deduce that from these millions of stars, there must be at least one planet not unlike ours which supports intelligent life. I deduce that the universe is vast beyond measure, and that all of humanity is naught but a speck in the grandness of the cosmos. I deduce that someday mankind will explore these uncharted realms and be basked in the greatness of the universe.”

Mr. Holmes nods through all of this. “Anything else you can deduce?”

Watson is a little taken aback, and responds “Is there something that comes to mind for you?”

Holmes turns to his assistant, looks him dead in the eye, and states: “Watson you dunderhead; someone stole our tent.”

Source : Adult Jokes