Adult Jokes

A bio teacher was telling her students that for the best
penetrations 6-7" PENIS IS best.ONE OF THE GIRL ASKD HER tht wht abt
9" .teacher said i m telling abt NECESSITY not LUXURY

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Man marries a deaf gal.he mimes,lets make a code! if i want sex i'll
squeeze ur breast,in responce u can pull my penis once for YES and
50 times for NO. ;)

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

ladki boli 200 loongi,HIL HIL k maza du gi...ladka bola 100 doonga
HIL mein khud lu ga..ladki boli to phir ye 100 bhi bacha le aur hath
se HILA le

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

A LADY GOES TO POLICE STATION AND LODGES A COMPLAINT:INSPECTOR
SAHAB:AIK NAY MAIRAY BOOBS DABAYE.AIK NAY MAIRI GAAND MARI.AIK NAY
MUJHAY CHODA.AIK NAY MUJHAY CHOOMA.
.
INSPECTOR:BAS KAR.F.I.R LIKHWA RAHI HAI YA LUN KHARA KAR RAHI HAI!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

A Girl visit for a urione test. By mistake her reports change.
.
Dr says her. U r pregnent.
.
Girls reply. Oh God Ab tu ungali ka b Barosa nahi raha

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

what PEPSI stands for
P=please
E=enter
P=penis
S=slowly
I=inside
hahahah
yeh dil magay more

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Women top 7 lies:
1: I love you
2: I am virgin
3: I hate sex
4: You are the first one touching me
5: Oh its too big? How wld it go inside?
6: I hate sucking
7: Alright - but u wld do it only once!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

2 girls returning 4m movie,
1st: Mera purse chori ho gaya.
2nd: Per tu to bra mein rakhti thi.
1st: Mujhe kya pata saala chori kar raha hai.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Yeh waqt nahin hai rone ka, Yeh waqt hai baccha hone ka.
Uss waqt kyon nahin royee thi, Jab chipak ke soyee thi.
Ab jo kiya hai woh bharo, Tab to kehti thi aur karo, aur
karo........

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Arz kiya hai.. College se nikalte hi kitab sine se laga leti ho!
Hum kya mar gaye jo khud hi dabaa leti ho!!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

8 boy caught in RAPE case. lady lawyer holds his penis & says; kya
yeh bacha rape kar saktah hai?
Boy says silently: hila mat werna case haar jai GEE

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Janeman mujhe mar dalo ..
zara meri pant ki jaab mai haath dalo...
lamba lage to kaat dalo......
mota laaga tu chaat daloo....
acha laga tu apni gand main dalo...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

A man phoned and asked,'221714' ?
Lady: Pls urdu mein bolo,
Man: Do- Do-Ek-Sath-Choda ?
Lady: "Nahein sir, ghalt kaha! yeah Teen-Teen-Ek- Sath-Choda hai"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Man says to his wife : Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I
can always look at them. Wife : Let me take a picture of you penis,
I will have it enlarged.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Lady to man: why you always keep condom & taveez together in your
wallet. Man: bhoot aur choot ka koi pata nahi kabhi bhi mil jaye.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

larka;dil karta hai tere zulfon mein kho jaoon...teri bahon mein
jhull jaoonn....teri anchal mein soo jaoonnn

larki;tou neechey kia muhaley wale ghuseinge

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------

Source: Adult Jokes

Adult Jokes

Wife To Husband: Agr Dunya Sirf 30 Minutes Me Khatam Ho Rahi Ho
Tou Tum KIa Karna Chahoge..... ??

Husband: Offcourse "SEX"....!!!

Wife: Aur Baqi 29 Minutes..... .... ??

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Santa comes bleeding. Banta: What happened?
Santa: Jaggu hit me with hammer.
Banta: Didn't u hv anything in ur hands?
Santa: I had.
Banta: What?
Santa: His wife's boobs!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Lecturer in a medical college class: Man's semen contains glucose.

One of the female students had doubt and she asks: Then why it
doesn't taste sweet?

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Thought for the happy life: Patni agar pati ko naukar samjhe to pati
ko kya karna chahiye?

Zyada kuchh nahi... do char ghar aur pakad Lene chahiye!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

A Newly Married Couple Seeking Divorce...
Judge asks Lady "Why do you want divorce?"
Lady: Despite Knowin That I'm Vegetarian, He Forces Ne To Put Meat In My Mouth!!" ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

What do woman usually say after Sex?

I Luv U?
Wrong!

That was great?
Wrong again!

I Luv it?
Aray Nahi Yaar....

Sahi Jawab Hai: Suno Meri BRA PANTY Kaha Rakhi Hai......... . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

What is the height of poverty?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
When a girl is ready to get fucked for only 2 rupees....
and you have only 1 rupee!!!! ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Beta: Mummy Tum Roz Papa Pe Eharh ke Jump Kyu Marti Ho?

Mummy: PAPA Ke Pait Ki Hawa Nikalne K Liye

Beta: Kia Faida Baraber Wali Aunty Muun Se Phir Hawa Bhar Deti
Hai..... ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Sardar: Gand Main Dard Hay
DR: Main Hath Dalta Hon Batana Kaha Hain
Sardar: Andar Aur Andar, Aor Andar , Han Yahain
Dr : Dhosri K Tera To Gala Kharab Hai

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

If you want Suck the nipple of girl ,she always say why yours mother
and sister r not living in ur home .u say yes but there is not child

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Life Without fun , Sky Without Sun , Ten without One , warrior
Without Gun , Batsman without run, Is all Like a Man without LuN .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Advantages of breast milk?

A) No need to boil.
B) Cat can't steal it.
C) Available in attractive containers.
D) Popular in all age groups.
E) Ek Pee Ek Free

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Gabar se ronay ki wajah poochi.....usne kaha MAA ne danta hai....
MAA se poocha tau kehti hai.... MUJH SE POOCTA HAI KITNAY AADMI
THAY..

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

A 50 years old man during fucking an old woman of 90,starts suckung
her breasts,after 10 min the man got died,police came and make
postmartum report,in report it was written that the milk was
xpired.....
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Source:  Adult Jokes

Adult Jokes

A Girl visit for a urione test. By mistake her reports change.

Dr says her. U r pregnent.

Girls reply. Oh God Ab tu ungali ka b Barosa nahi raha

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----------------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

what PEPSI stands for

P=please

E=enter

P=penis

S=slowly

I=inside

hahahah

yeh dil magay more

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----------------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Women top 7 lies:

1: I love you

2: I am virgin

3: I hate sex

4: You are the first one touching me

5: Oh its too big? How wld it go inside?

6: I hate sucking

7: Alright - but u wld do it only once!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----------------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

2 girls returning 4m movie,

1st: Mera purse chori ho gaya.

2nd: Per tu to bra mein rakhti thi.

1st: Mujhe kya pata saala chori kar raha hai.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----------------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Yeh waqt nahin hai rone ka, Yeh waqt hai baccha hone ka.

Uss waqt kyon nahin royee thi, Jab chipak ke soyee thi.

Ab jo kiya hai woh bharo, Tab to kehti thi aur karo, aur

karo........

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----------------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Arz kiya hai.. College se nikalte hi kitab sine se laga leti ho!

Hum kya mar gaye jo khud hi dabaa leti ho!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----------------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

8 boy caught in RAPE case. lady lawyer holds his penis & says; kya

yeh bacha rape kar saktah hai?

Boy says silently: hila mat werna case haar jai GEE

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----------------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Janeman mujhe mar dalo ..

zara meri pant ki jaab mai haath dalo...

lamba lage to kaat dalo......

mota laaga tu chaat daloo....

acha laga tu apni gand main dalo...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----------------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

A man phoned and asked,'221714' ?

Lady: Pls urdu mein bolo,

Man: Do- Do-Ek-Sath-Choda ?

Lady: "Nahein sir, ghalt kaha! yeah Teen-Teen-Ek- Sath-Choda hai"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----------------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Man says to his wife : Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I

can always look at them. Wife : Let me take a picture of you penis,

I will have it enlarged.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----------------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Lady to man: why you always keep condom & taveez together in your

wallet. Man: bhoot aur choot ka koi pata nahi kabhi bhi mil jaye.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----------------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

larka;dil karta hai tere zulfon mein kho jaoon...teri bahon mein

jhull jaoonn....teri anchal mein soo jaoonnn

.

larki;tou neechey kia muhaley wale ghuseinge

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----------------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Source :- Adult Jokes

Non Veg. Jokes Part – Happie

Wife To Husband: Agr Dunya Sirf 30 Minutes Me Khatam Ho Rahi Ho

Tou Tum KIa Karna Chahoge..... ??

Husband: Offcourse "SEX"....!!!

Wife: Aur Baqi 29 Minutes..... .... ??

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Santa comes bleeding. Banta: What happened?

Santa: Jaggu hit me with hammer.

Banta: Didn't u hv anything in ur hands?

Santa: I had.

Banta: What?

Santa: His wife's boobs!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Lecturer in a medical college class: Man's semen contains glucose.

One of the female students had doubt and she asks: Then why it

doesn't taste sweet?

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Thought for the happy life: Patni agar pati ko naukar samjhe to pati

ko kya karna chahiye?

Zyada kuchh nahi... do char ghar aur pakad Lene chahiye!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

A Newly Married Couple Seeking Divorce...

Judge asks Lady "Why do you want divorce?"

Lady: Despite Knowin That I'm Vegetarian, He Forces Ne To Put Meat In My Mouth!!" ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

What do woman usually say after Sex?

I Luv U?

Wrong!

That was great?

Wrong again!

I Luv it?

Aray Nahi Yaar....

Sahi Jawab Hai: Suno Meri BRA PANTY Kaha Rakhi Hai......... . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

What is the height of poverty?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

When a girl is ready to get fucked for only 2 rupees....

and you have only 1 rupee!!!! ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Beta: Mummy Tum Roz Papa Pe Eharh ke Jump Kyu Marti Ho?

Mummy: PAPA Ke Pait Ki Hawa Nikalne K Liye

Beta: Kia Faida Baraber Wali Aunty Muun Se Phir Hawa Bhar Deti

Hai..... ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Sardar: Gand Main Dard Hay

DR: Main Hath Dalta Hon Batana Kaha Hain

Sardar: Andar Aur Andar, Aor Andar , Han Yahain

Dr : Dhosri K Tera To Gala Kharab Hai

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

If you want Suck the nipple of girl ,she always say why yours mother

and sister r not living in ur home .u say yes but there is not child

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Life Without fun , Sky Without Sun , Ten without One , warrior

Without Gun , Batsman without run, Is all Like a Man without LuN .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

 Sourec : Adut Jokes

Non Veg Jokes

Yuhi hat se muth laga laga k mar jao ge

humne lund dekhaya tu dar jao ge

ek bar leker tu dekho lund hamara

bar bar ki lene ki zid pe arr jao ge....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Barish me Ladki ke gile boobs dekhkar

Boy: Apki headlight on ho gai hai..

Girl: Mera Bap bill bharega tumhe kya?

Boy: Par bijli ka Khamba to Mera Hil raha hai...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Aurat K 3 Karishmay!

1) Baghair Ghaass Khaye Doodh Deti Hai.

2) Baghair Daanton K Kaccha Gosht Khati Hai.

3) Baghair Lund K,

Mard Ki Gaand Maar Deti Hai....

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Some Giggling Facts:

1: Fuck a girl & she'll love you, Love a girl & she'll fuck you!

2: Most men have split personalities; They hate cats but love pussies.

3: The words "naked" & "nude" are not the same. Naked implies unprotected & Nude means unclothed.

4: Men give love to get sex, Women give sex to get love.

5: Common thing between a girl's legs and butter: Both are delicious when spread...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

If your boss says

NOTHING is impossible.. .

Ask him to try and wear

a condom after sex...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Love is not measured by hugging kissing n sex. Its all abt trusting, respecting n accepting a prson wid

OPEN LEGS CLOSED EYES, WET LIPS saying

"PUSH IT MORE"

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A Criminal Broke Into Bed Room ,Tied Up Husband & Wife ,

Kissed Wife's Ear & Went 2 Bathroom..

Husband: Satisfy Him Or He Will Kill Us ,Be Strong I LOVE YOU.

Wife: He Did't Kiss Me , He Whispered In My Ear That He's Gay ,Needs Vaseline I Told Him Its In The Bathroom . So Be Strong I Love U Too

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Q. What’s the difference between a woman and a fridge?

A. A fridge doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out. . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Q. Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute?

A. The prostitute because she can wash and resell her crack. . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Q. What is a Zebra?

A. 26 sizes larger than an “A” bra. . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Q:

What is the difference between a woman

in church and a woman in a bathtub. . . ?

Ans:

One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her

hole. . . . ;->

Source : Adult Jokes

Adult Jokes Club

Getting Back ?

The courting couple were looking for somewhere private but the gates of the park had been locked for the night.

“Never mind,” said the boy, “if you stand on this (showing her his erect John Thomas) you’ll be able to get over the wall.”

“That may be so,” she replied, “but how will I get back?”

_______________________________________________

Crickets

The man parked the car in Lovers’ Lane and for a few moments the young couple just sat and listened to the countryside noises.

“Oh it’s lovely here,” enthused the girl. “I think I can even hear the crickets.”

“That’s not a cricket,” replied the man, “that’s a zip.”

_______________________________________________

VD or TB ?

A man met a beautiful girl in the pub and couldn’t believe his luck when she invited him back to her place. Very soon, they were upstairs, stripping off but just as he was about to throw himself at her she suddenly stopped and said,

“Oh, I should have told you, I went to the doctors today and he told me I had either VD or TB, but I can’t remember which.”

Even this news couldn’t dampen the man’s ardour. He rang up the girl’s doctor straight away.

“I’m sorry,” said the doctor. “I had two girls in today so I can’t remember.”

“Oh no!” exclaimed the man, “what shall I do?”

“Well chase her around the room a few times and if she starts to cough then go ahead and make love” came the reply.

_______________________________________________

Condolences

A widow of only a few months goes out on her first date since the death of her husband. They have a great evening but when he makes a move, she holds him back saying, “I can’t. I’m wearing black knickers because I’m still in mourning for my husband.”

They continue to date, although it never goes past a goodnight kiss at the end of the evening.

Then a few weeks later in the middle of a passionate embrace, he gets out a packet of black condoms.

“What are those for?” she asks.

“I’d like to give you my condolences!” he replies.

_______________________________________________

Alone

“Forgive me Father for I have sinned,” said the man in the confessional.

“What is it, my son?” came the reply.

“Well, last week I went round to my girlfriend’s flat but she wasn’t in. The only person there was her flat mate and we ended up having sex.”

“Oh dear,” replied the priest.

“And then a couple of days later, I popped round to my mate’s house but he’d gone down the pub. The only person there was his wife and we ended up having sex.”

“Oh dear,” remarked the priest again.

The man continued “So then last night, I went into the local pub and it was empty. Everyone had gone to watch the darts team playing away. There was only Mandy serving behind the bar so we ended up having sex. What shall I do?”

But there was no answer from the other side of the screen.

“Father, are you there?” demanded the man. No answer came, so he began looking for the priest and eventually found him hiding in the pews.

“What are you doing there?” he exclaimed.

“Well, I suddenly realised that you and I were alone together,” replied the priest.

Source : Adult Jokes

Funny Adult Jokes